Wednesday, June 2, 2010
7 Bedrooms, 4 Baths, 2 Ghosts. Ugh.
by Alison Kerby
Here's the thing about ghosts: They're a real pain in the butt.
I found out the hard way. I won't tell you the whole story (I think you can guess where you can see that), but the short version is that I bought this beautiful old Victorian in my old home town, Harbor Haven, New Jersey, right on the shore (down the shore, we Jerseyans say). I'm going to turn it into a guesthouse, something I've always wanted to do, to give people a view of the area I've always loved, and to generate an income for me and my nine-year-old daughter Melissa.
And then, after I got hit on the head--again, the whole story is elsewhere--I could see ghosts.
Not ALL ghosts. I don't see them wherever I go. Just two. Their names are Paul Harrison and Maxie Malone. They died in my house, a little less than a year ago. Maxie used to own the place, wanting to renovate and "flip" it, back when the real estate market was hot down the shore.
It's not anymore, but that's no longer Maxie's problem.
The thing is, seeing ghosts is something you never really get used to, and it's something that has unexpected downsides. Like the "mischief" they cause when they want me to do something, which they do. They want me to find out who murdered them.
Not my line of work, thank you.
I mean, I understand. I THINK I understand. Paul, a private investigator whom Maxie hired when she started receiving (as it turned out, accurate) death threats, can't let the case that ended his life go unsolved. Maxie, well. Maxie. Maxie is something of a 28-year-old brat. And while I get it that she's dead and that's a drag, it's so not my fault that I have trouble understanding why she keeps acting like I'm responsible for finding out what happened to them.
I'm sorry--is this too much information?
Suffice it to say that I'm sympathetic, but not crazy. I don't want to get a killer (or killers) mad at me. I'm addicted to oxygen. And even though Paul and Maxie hit the toughest break of all, I really don't see how my becoming the next ghost haunting the place is going to help.
But somehow, I get the feeling I'm going to be doing things I wouldn't otherwise do, just to get these two specters off my back.
Ghosts. What a pain in the butt!
Submitted by E.J. Copperman