By Lydia Monk, Mercy, SC Assistant County Coroner
You may have expected someone else from Mercy to talk to you today. Well, Jillian Hart thinks she can stroll into my territory in South Carolina and start solving crimes. She's wrong, folks. I do the investigating. And I'm doing the talking. That little wannabe heroine is a delusional, too, but I'll explain about that later. Dumb people like Belle at Belle's Beans may not see through her. But I do.
But besides wanting to warn you about putting your faith in an amateur detective like Jillian Hart and her damn cats--she's got three of them and they will shed all over you in a heartbeat--I want the world to know that Tom Stewart belongs to me. That's where Jillian's delusions come in. She thinks she can steal him from me. She is a wily woman, that's for sure.
Now, I'll admit, Tom doesn't know how much he loves me. Not yet. He's busy making sure that everyone in Mercy has a security system now that Jillian has shown up and bodies are practically falling from everyone's ceiling. She's trouble and I am certain he will realize that. Not that I don't remind him every chance I get.
that's what I want the world to know. And she can quit interfering in my relationship with Tom. Are you listening, Jillian? Stay away from him.
And now, I'm off to the tattoo parlor in Greenville. I'm having a tatt of a Winnebago done on my right arm. How cool is that?