Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Defensive? Who, Me?

Sandra Neverall recently accept an engagement ring from her boyfriend, real estate developer Gregory Whitlock.  Unfortunately, that has created some fallout for her daughter, Lady Plumber Georgiana Neverall.  Georgie needs your help surviving the wedding preparations, because, well ...  Let her explain....


Would somebody please tell me what is wrong with a thirty-something woman being single?  I mean, really!  Just because I decided to get a MS when I went to college, instead of the Mrs. my mother thought I should be looking for, does that make me a bad person?

Besides, I am not getting a real good feeling about brides and weddings these days.  With my mother engaged to Mr. Too-Smooth Gregory, she has turned into a complete Bridezilla.  Those girls on the wedding shows on TV?  She makes them look like perfect angels. 

Did you know she called me at least six times EVERY DAY while I was on vacation?  Once she called just to be sure I wasn't planning to cut my hair before the wedding!  Mt hair has been short and easy on the upkeep for the last four year - ever since I left high tech and started learning plumbing.  Of course I am going to cut it again before the wedding.  The wedding is eight flippin' months away.

I really thought this whole getting-remarried-thing would be good for mom.  You know, give her a chance to settle down, start a new life with Gregory, all that.  True, I don't like Gregory much, but she adores him, and he is good to her, so what I think doesn't matter all that much.

Instead Mom has gone completely bonkers.  This wedding will end up being a cross between Christmas Mass at the Vatican and the opening ceremonies of the Olympics if someone doesn't stop her.  And I certainly can't.  Believe me, I tried.

Years from now I suppose I'll be able to look back with amusement at the stories that will come out of all the preparations and pomp and ceremony.  But for now, it's just one giant headache.  Please, tell me your worst wedding-preparation story.  Let me know I'm not alone, and that there is hope for a life after the invasion of the Bridezilla.

Please, I'm begging you, save me from my mother!


Georgiana Neverall stars in the Lady Plumber Mystery series by Christy Evans.  Her adventures - SINK TRAP nad LEAD PIPE CINCH - are currently available, with a third - DRIP DEAD - coming in February.

18 comments:

  1. Georgie, you make me very glad that my mother is still married to my father! My mother is a physician, so I never saw much of her while I was growing up, but when she quit her practice to go into politics and began assessing me as a possible assistant, I moved to New York City.

    We need plumbers here, Georgie, hint, hint. And no one, not even your mother, will be able to find you here if you don't want her to.

    Note from Janet Bolin: Willow sees moving as a solution to problems? Don't tell her, but I think I can work with that. Oh, sorry. Please excuse the evil cackle.

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  2. Hi Georgiana,

    Unfortunately I don't have any wedding preparation stories to tell, but go ahead and get that hair cut.

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  3. Hmmm. Thankfully, most of my friends have avoided the Bridezilla trap. I did have one friend who spent the week before her wedding curled up on the couch with a box of tissues and an old quilt, eyes glued to the Weather Channel as she watched a hurricane approaching the coast just in time for her outdoor wedding. She was no fun to be around -- but, honestly, who could blame her?

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  4. Lord amighty, the worst of Bree's weddings was #2 - her marriage to Sonny Anders. Poor Bree was three months gone with Alice and she was puking up her guts 24/7. We had quite a chore finding a wedding dress that didn't make her look like Kermit the Frog. Sonny's one of those slick fellas who laughs too loud and always wants to shake your hand or pat you on the back. Too touchy for my taste. And his mother was a capital B.

    The only good thing I can say about that wedding is it was short. And we got Alice out of the mix, so ...

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  5. Georgie, there is life after a Bridezilla invasion. I'm living proof. My sister, Hannah, turned into the worst kind of Bridezilla when she was getting married, and Natasha only fed Hannah's crazy ideas. It all turned out okay in the end, but it was such a wild ride that Krista wrote a book about it.

    Hang in there. Bridezillas come to their senses, but not until the day after the wedding . . .

    ~ Sophie
    Domestic Diva Mysteries

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  6. My worst wedding-preparation nightmare is the one that hasn't happened yet.

    My 23-year-old daughter, Shoshana, has been auditioning future husbands for years. At least she calls a halt before things go too far, but I can't tell you how many different complete sets of wedding plans we've been through. You'd think the girl could recycle some of her plans. No. Every time, she has to start fresh, with all new color schemes, styles, and everything. We got smart, though; after the second, we learned not to put deposits on anything.

    But the worst is that she hasn't figured out yet what's wrong with her groom-chooser! You know what that means, don't you?

    Right. My nightmare's not over yet.

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  7. Georgiana - I feel your pain -- but not that much because I'm laughing too hard. Thanks for the wedding update and...looking forward to DRIP DEAD! :)

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  8. Hi Georgie,

    OMG! I just finished putting on an over-the-top platinum wedding for my California cousin Riley. I'd say the worse part was when the wedding planner was murdered and I had to step into her high heels and get everyone to the church (okay country club) on time.

    Skye

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  9. Being a florist, I know all about Bridezillas, trust me! The stories I could tell....but shouldn't if I want to keep customers coming back to Bloomers.
    I feel your pain, Georgie. Stay tough, girl. Look at it as a challenge.

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  10. Hi Georgiana,

    Here's my worst story: My fiance took off with someone else before I even had a chance to buy my first Bride's Magazine. But it could definitely have been worse. He could have stayed.

    How come I didn't figure that out until my wily sister entered the picture?

    Just wondering...

    Sorry you're having to go through all this...

    Grace

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  11. My worst wedding story was as the bride....

    Ordered my gown about a year in advance. Six months before the wedding, it wasn't in yet. Nor 5 months before, nor 3...

    Two weeks before the big day the bridal shop figured out why it hadn't arrived... they'd never ordered it!

    I had to choose a gown from stock. Unfortunately the only style I liked that suited me (very limited stock) was a full 5 sizes too large. They had to take it in quite a bit.

    I vowed to buy myself a wowza of a dress some day - maybe for an anniversary - to make up for it. Haven't done that yet but that's mostly because I have nowhere to wear one. Some day though... I will have a gown that's all mine!!

    Julie

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  12. Oh, Julie! Yikes!

    Both my weddings were small, so the plans were simple, right? Well, unless you count my rental house burning down SIX DAYS before the first one!

    Yes, I think the universe was trying to tell me something, but I went ahead anyway :-)

    (The divorce plans weren't nearly as much fun.)

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  13. What a fun day this is in Killer Characters!

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  14. I have to admit I love reading about other people's wedding horror stories ... makes me so glad Mr. Wendy and I went to Vegas. :)

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  15. Hi Georgiana, NIce to meet you here on Killer Characters. I don't have any wedding horror stories to tell. But I just wanted to say hi.

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  16. Hi Georgie, just think, married life will be all the sweeter because you endured the drama of the wedding!

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  17. I thought we were going to have a Bridezilla mother of the bride story recently...the problem was, she wasn't even the bride's mother! Let me explain. My daughter lives in Texas. I live in Illinois. When she and her fiance decided to get married, a "friend of the family" decided that since I wasn't available, she'd take my place in the wedding planning. This did NOT go over well, especially since she is a take-charge type of person. When she posted on Facebook that she took "her" daughter to shop for wedding dresses, the you-know-what hit the fan!
    Fortunately, news of an impending arrival scrapped the plans for the "wedding of the century", and now they're going with a very simple outdoor ceremony with just a few friends.

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  18. When I got engaged, I asked a friend of mine to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. I felt a little bad asking her as she was hoping to be engaged before anyone she knew. She happily accepted so I took that as a good sign. That was a mistake. Shortly after asking her to be in the wedding, I had to ask her not to be in the wedding. Along with her boyfriend, my "friend" hatched a plan to try to cause issues in my relationship with my husband-to-be with the ultimate goal of breaking us up. Needless to say, our friendship is no longer existent. I am, however, very happily married and my wedding went off without a hitch after she was removed from being a bridesmaid in my wedding.

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