Sunday, August 22, 2010

One Homicide Detective's Opinion

My name is Barry Greenberg and all I want to do is get married. Okay, I’ve failed at it before, but I’m sure Molly and I can make it as a couple.

Except somebody keeps pulling us apart.

There must be somewhere people in a book can register a complaint against authors who keep messing up the lives of the people in their books. It started in Hooked on Murder, continued in Dead Men Don't Crochet, more in By Hook or By Crook, and even more in A Stitch in Crime. I can't speak for You Better Knot Die since it doesn't come out until November.

If my author would stop interfering, Molly would see the light. But the author keeps filling Molly’s head with the idea that after being married for so long before her husband died, she likes having her freedom now. All this junk about trying her wings and flying solo. I want to marry her, not put her in a cage.

And I’d like to kick Mason Fields right off the page and out of the book. I’m a serious minded homicide detective. Mason is a lawyer - need I say more? I keep telling Molly to stay out of the murder solving business and he keeps helping her get in deeper. They have way too much fun.

She says they’re just friends. If you could see me, you’d know by my expression how much I don’t buy that. Everybody, or at least every guys knows that “just friends” stuff is a bunch of bull. Guys have other guys as friends. Guys hanging out with women have an agenda.

I could also do without all those embarrassing situations my author puts me in just for a laugh.

But I’m not giving up. I have a few things up my sleeve. My author might just be surprised to find out the people in her book have ways of pulling their own strings.

How about the rest of you people in books. Do you want to rebel against your author?


  1. Rebel against my author? My first thought was, how could I? My adventures aren't public yet, and I don't even know what they'll be. My author (Janet Bolin) won't tell me. She says she's only describing my life.

    And then you mentioned that your author puts you into embarrassing situations just for a laugh.

    That's enough to make me rebel. I'll stop doing embarrassing things. I'll twist my future around in ways that won't fit into her books.

    Only...I don't know what kind of books she's writing. I'd hate to mess up a romance.

    Speaking of messing up romances, Barry - you're a nice person, but I can understand any woman being afraid to marry someone who wants to control who her friends are. I'm speaking as a friend.


  2. Good luck, Willow. I hope your author doesn't mess things up for you. Thanks for the advice, but the only friend of Molly's I'd like to control is Mason. And like I said, I don't buy the just friends stuff.

    Barry Greenberg

  3. Hi Barry,

    I hope things go well for you with Molly, but maybe if you take it a little slower. Woo her a bit more and entice her to want to marry you. I waited a long time for Skye and I had to win her over from this jerk she was dating. But things are looking up in that department.

    Walter Boyd
    Scumble River Chief of Police

  4. Barry, there is no way I would let my characters read your post. It's hard enough to keep it together without this kind of pushback. You seem like a nice fellow and you have the same first name as my son-in-law, but you are off limits, buddy!


    Mary Jane Maffini

  5. Skye, believe me I have been trying the wooing thing. If my author would bud out, I think I'd have a chance.

    Mary Jane, we the people in books need to band together and get our power back from you author types. Tell your son-in-law he has a great name.

    Barry Greenberg

  6. Don't worry, I think Molly will realize "freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" (in the immortal words of Janis Joplin) and you two will be heading to the altar.

  7. Barry, I've only read Dead Men and starting
    You better not die. So I know you care about
    Molly and she is getting used to you and Jeffrey. She loves dogs and has a soft spot for kids. There is hope there somewhere. I know this sounds hackneyed and you may not have the patience to wait her out, but if you remember the song in Camelot where Arthur asks Merlin what to do about Guinevere, Wise old Merlin said "love her. Simply Love her".

    You are making this way too complicated. Anything forced on her and she'll balk. Let it be and just be. If it is supposed to-that alone will woo her away from Mason, especially if he has an agenda. It will show and she'll know you for the real thing. Be patient.
    God Bless and I wish you well.

    By the way-the Rob stands for Robin. I"m a female in a very bad disguise! No I'm not gay and no I'm not Bi. But on occasion, I can see the man's side in the whole thing. I'm backing you! Good Luck.
    Rob in Grand Rapids (MI)