Gosh, Truffle, I sure wish we had opposable thumbs, we could do a better job at this. These little black keys are hard to work even with our small paws. We’ve been at it for hours. What if we miss our third morning nap? We could end too exhausted to burrow under blankies.
Stop fussing, Sweet Marie! It’s coming out okay. I have to work fast before
That’s true. She does get kind of crazy. I’ll never get over her reaction to the lost shoes!
It's worth it! I think we are connecting with people. Readers.
That’s the idea.
Hello? Hello? Woof? Are you there? We are Truffle and Sweet Marie, the real stars of the Charlotte Adams mysteries and today we have control of the keyboard. At last! We don’t think it should be all human visitors to Killer Characters. What about the pets? Lots of readers just care about the pets. People are kind of boring and all look alike. Some readers believe that there should be no mysteries at all without a dog, or, if you must, a C-A-T. Animals are the best part of cozy mysteries. Trust us. If you are one of these intelligent readers, you can send us treats and we will be your friends. Really. We are both very warm and cuddly and we have worked up a set of … what would you say they were, Sweet Marie?
Demands, I think, Truffle. Or maybe a manifesto.
Right. We Truffle and Sweet Marie—“
That should be Sweet Marie and Truffle. Ladies first, also alphabetical order.
What do dogs know about alphabetical order? Fine. We, Sweet Marie and Truffle, do hereby demand:
- More treats.
- Bigger treats.
- The best spot on the sofa always.
- To sleep in the people bed.
- A new soft blankie in every room.
- No baths ever.
- No trips to the vet. We shouldn’t even have to mention this.
- The right to bark at the pizza delivery guy. He keeps coming back anyway.
- That nobody can get mad at us if we lie on the freshly starched white pillow cases (that’s such a nice feeling)
- To get thanked (not chastised!) for biting the nosy police lady on the ankle whenever she tries to take
- No snow and cold weather ever.
- People food.
- Credit for everything we do to make the books better. Didn’t we help save
’s life? Charlotte
- A place on the covers. Recognition. How about: Closet Confidential: A Truffle and Sweet Marie mystery
- And we want Jack to stay here all the time because—
Listen! She’s coming. Truffle, get off the chair and back to the sofa, under the blanket. She’ll never find us there. We’ll have to try again later. These people like us., they really do. They’ll send treats, I just know it!
But will they make sure we’re all right? Oops. Run!!!