Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Guess who is really in charge?






Here’s the thing: I’m the one who sweated through the police academy. I passed the firearms test and aced the grueling physical – everything the guys could do, I had to do too. I logged those long hours on the beat and sweated through the sergeant’s exam. And of course, I am also the officer who took the forensics courses and survived my share of autopsy viewings. I am a detective in the Major Crimes Unit of the Woodbridge Police. Me. Sergeant Pepper Monahan. I have the rank, the equipment, the training. I am the real deal.

My point? It’s this: if you stumble on a body in Woodbridge New York, call 911. That’s right. The POLICE. Resist the urge to consult a certain professional organizer and all round meddler called Charlotte Adams. I have known her since we were kids and I’d trust her to put my shoes in order, sort my silverware or manage moving from one house to another, but the fact is she’s about as capable of investigating a murder as Minnie Mouse. Is that clear? I sure hope so because up until now, she’s been lucky she hasn’t been killed.

She cannot keep running around getting people stirred up and drawing ridiculous conclusions that just cause nothing but trouble. Who do you think cleans up after all that? That’s right. And to make matters worse, she gets in a flap whenever I have to haul her in for questioning. She can get more police cars out for the wrong reasons than anyone else in our jurisdiction. She thinks she should be able to pick her wardrobe before she’s arrested. On some other planet, maybe.

Oh and keep an eye on your husbands when she’s around, because for some reason men seem to find her attractive. She’s short and skinny and bossy and obsessive. Hard to see that as sexy, but there you have it. And in the case of my husband, Nick, who I admit is inclined to … Okay folks, enough about that. Move along.


I suppose she means well. Maybe we could go back to being best friends again if she could just learn to keep her nose in her own business. I suppose she really did do me a favor in her latest adventure.

And that’s a start. But it still drives me crazy. What about you? Do you have a ‘best’ friend who makes you nuts?



21 comments:

  1. Hope Charlotte's crime investigating won't drive too much of a wedge between you--your friendship is such a good one!

    You have the training to fight crime, but maybe Charlotte has the intuition?

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  2. Thank you, Elizabeth/Riley. We are working on it, but ...

    She does have intuition. I'll give her that, but I think one of these days it's going to do her in. I sound angry, I know, but I worry.

    Pepper

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  3. It's nice that you worry, Pepper. As long as Charlotte comes to you with her theories and you act upon them, perhaps she'll be in less danger.

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  4. You are a nice person, Dru. Maybe I should encourage her more, but sometimes I just feel like tossing her in the back of the paddy wagon.

    Pepper

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  5. Pepper - I just picked up the first book with you and Charlotte. I'm loving it, but just getting to know you both. Don't take this the wrong way, but I named my Schnauzer Pepper. (She's salt and pepper colored and I thought Pepper was better than Salt - which is what my my five year old son wanted to call her.) She's very serious and quite the protector of the family.

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  6. Hire her to reorganize everybody's office at the police station. You and your colleagues can keep an eye on her.

    Aw, c'mon, Sgt. Pepper, it's a great idea! You're just being stubborn.

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  7. Okay, dogs are cute, and Schnauzers have attitude, so that's all right, Bookwoman. I am glad you like the first book too.

    Janet? Do I have to come out and arrest you? There is no way, Charlotte is getting an 'in' to this police station, unless it's an interview room or a holding cell.

    Pepper (needing a coffee)

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  8. Sigh, Sgt. Pepper. I guess your stubborn attitude helped get you where you are today. I'll have to talk to Charlotte about my great idea.

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  9. Seeing as Charlotte's into doing your job, I think you should turn the tables and re-organize her house, and see how she likes it. Oh, and while you're at it, re-organize her life; as in, no moonlighting as an amateur detectove.

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  10. Oh, boy...I'm not touching that question. Not when they know my address & phone #. But you've got to admit, Pepper, that Charlotte has only the best of intentions. And isn't that what's most important between friends, especially when one of them packs a gun?

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  11. Hi Sarge,

    Perhaps you could work with Charlotte. Use her insight to help you solve cases, instead of trying to cut her out of the loop.

    Just a thought.

    Skye

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  12. Thank you all for your suggestions. I am not sure if you fully understand how stubborn Charlotte is, but I'll consider some of the ideas. I am carrying a gun and I just might reorganize her house, but I really prefer her out of the loop. I'll get back to you.

    Pepper Monahan (Sgt)

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  13. Ah, Pepper, cut her a break! We mystery readers wouldn't be the same without the conflict between you and Charlotte. And you know, she'd do anything for you.

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  14. I guess you are right. She really came through in Closet Confidential.

    Pepper

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  15. Ooh, like the idea of Pepper and Charlotte teaming up. Just don't let her near your gun.

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  16. My "best friend" is also my cousin ... and she drives me seven kinds of crazy. Dang. Bree makes me want to tear my hair out. But I love her even more than I want to strangle her. :)

    Hope you feel the same way about Charlotte. I think it's good to have a little burr under your saddle to keep you from getting too comfortable.

    Besides, Charlotte and I have chatted a bit (about ice cream and crime fighting), and I think she's basically a good egg.

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  17. Excellent point about the gun (note to self). Thanks Heather.

    And Tally, you get it. Burr under the saddle, yes. I like ice cream too. Hmmm.

    Pepper

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  18. My best friend is my DH and, yes, he drives me nuts. Still love him though, which is often a good thing (for him).......

    I look forward to reading yours and Charlotte's adventures.

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  19. Thanks, Vickie. My DH can drive me crazy as well. And I still love him too. What's with that?

    I hope you enjoy our adventures. The DH is in there too.

    Pepper.

    MJ

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  20. Pepper---I'd keep a close eye on your husband Nick if I were you. Sounds like he's . . uh, susceptible, shall we say.

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  21. Hey, Maggie. He means well and he loves me. But you're right. He needs a leash.

    Pepper.

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