Sunday, September 12, 2010

Introducing the Gipping Gazette's Femme Fatale!


Annabel Lake here. Finally.
I've only just found out about this Killer Characters' blog. I knewthat wretched Vicky Hill was keeping something from me and it was just pure luck that I had to use her computer this morning whilst she was in the loo. It wasn’t difficult to guess her password—“Christiane Amanpour.” It’s sad how much Vicky wants to be like Christiane. Vicky even wears the same kind of safari jacket. Frankly, since Vicky’s job is to write the obits, the chances of her becoming an international foreign correspondent and TV anchorwoman are next to zero. Oh, sorry. For those of us dealing with frontline breaking news, Christiane is super famous and has just signed a fabulous deal with ABC to present “The Week.”

Speaking of being famous, I’m Vicky’s senior by a full three months. This puts Vicky at the bottom of the totem pole. It also means she’s responsible for making the tea at the office which she always complains about. I offered to help once but the stairs to the kitchenette in the basement are far too dangerous in high heels.

And yet, Vicky always seems to get the front-page scoop and she’s not even sleeping with anyone. She also seems to ingratiate herself with Gipping townsfolk. She’ll spend her days off hanging out at the snail racing track (though thankfully, the season has almost ended) or tramping through muddy fields trying to be friends with the hedge jumpers and the hedge cutters. None of this is going to help her get out of Gipping-on-Plym and hit the big time.

She should take a leaf out of my book. I’m off to The Nobody Inn at Doddiscombeleigh for a quick drink with Gillian Briggs’s second cousin-once removed-sister’s boyfriend. He works as an extra at the BBC. If you are going to network, you’ve got to network with the right people.

Sometimes I just love being me!

10 comments:

  1. Annabel, I know it seems like Vicky is hogging the spotlight at the moment, but things have a way of doing a 180, and I bet your turn will be next!

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  2. Annabel says ... "thank you Mary. You are now my new best friend."

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  3. How did your drink at the Nobody Inn go?

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  4. And well you should, Miss Annabel. Hope the networking drink worked in your favor.

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  5. Annabel says: Thank you for asking Janet. It wasn't what I expected. I have this problem ALL the time. Men just fall over themselves and want to be my boyfriend. But since he'll come in useful, I'll probably keep him dangling.

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  6. Annabel says: Vicki - as I was telling Janet, sometimes men can't see beyond my beauty to my brains but one must learn to use what one has. Don't you agree?

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  7. Well if beauty is all going for you Annabel then might as well. I might 'suggest' or perhaps inquire.......How many front pages has it garnered for you? [massive sniggering and glee]

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  8. Annabel says: Susan, I am very glad you asked me because it's important that everyone knows that had it not been for Vicky Hill's interference, I would have snagged THREE front-page exclusives!

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  9. Quite true Annabel.....but what's the line on outdoor games..........oh yea CLOSE ONLY COUNTS IN HORSESHOES. But keep on trying, but watch out that you 'get' the scoop and not 'be' the front page exclusive. [Seems they are mostly of the 'got caught' variety] {still sniggering}

    Thank you for finally posting on the blog though. You always make me smile.....

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  10. Annabel says: Susan, outdoor games are not really my thing—they are so ... parochial - but as long as I am stuck in this dump, I suppose I must put on a brave face. As for your comment about being on the front page, there is no such thing as bad publicity as long as I look beautiful. Thank you for being one of my fans.

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