Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Keeping the truth to oneself is NOT lying

By Bob Kelly (As told to Lorna Barrett)

Why is it women want to know EVERYTHING? And the worst--they always want to know how you feel.

Any conversation that starts out, "We have to talk," is not going to have a pleasant outcome.  I know, because my girlfriend, Angelica, starts out with that sentence at least once a week.  We've been together for two years now--what could we possibly have to talk about?

Okay, I could wax on about the real estate market and how it has NOT rebounded.  Don't tell me the recession is over--not when I've got 30 properties listed and few prospective buyers.  Of course, I'm lucky--owning half of Main Street brings me rent which can more than tie me over in these tough times, but come on.  I need to unload some of these houses.  I need that commission.

And just because a man wants to keep some things to himself doesn't mean he's up to no good--or worse, LYING.  I have not told a lie.  Well, not a big lie, anyway.  There are some things that just don't need to be said.  Is it anyone's business why I was in History Repeats Itself when it exploded?  Hey, it wasn't may fault.  Do you think I was trying to kill myself?

No way!

But I'm not letting some woman boss me around either--and I'm not talking about Angelica now, it's her nosy, pushy sister.  No wonder she can't hold onto to man -- but that's beside the point.

So what do you think?  Should I come clean and be a wuss -- or retain my manhood (and my dignity) and keep quiet?


  1. Hmm, Bob, are you saying that you might just happen to omit the fact that someone was murdered in one of those properties you have for sale?

    Domestic Diva Mysteries

  2. Well . . . ahem . . . who knew it was murder? I just figured Jim was careless with his smokes. (You have to admit, the cigarettes would've killed him eventually anyway.)

  3. :::shaking head::: Bob, Bob, Bob, you should never lie to your girlfriend because the truth will come out, especially when her sister is Tricia.

  4. I concur with Dru....Bob, Bob, Bob.....

    Would that you could find a happy medium but it is too much fun watching you be you.

  5. I'm all for keeping a few tid bits out of the salad. Odds are your girlfriend is having these discussions in order to keep the channels open between you. She's doing a regular 'check-in' to make sure things are going okay. Women take on the task of keeping the couple close. She doesn't necessarily want you to spill your guts, reveal every teensy detail, give her a count on your daily trips to the bathroom. You're friends as well as lovers - I'm assuming - so tell her about your day, the little annoyances. Tell her she's still beautiful and desirable. No diarrhea of the mouth necessary. ;)

  6. Just wondering - what secrets could you be keeping that, if divulged, would undermine your manhood or your dignity?

    And what happens if Angelica finds out the truth on her own (or with the help of her sister...)?

  7. So Bob...hasn't anyone told you that telling the truth and trusting your girlfriend IS the manly thing to do???

  8. Ohhhhh, Bob....Hell hath no fury...do you REALLY want to mess with Angelica? Brave man if you do!

  9. OK, I'll be the one to say it. Bob you are a First Class Heel. I think the author should bump you off in one of the upcoming books. And surprise surprise, Angelica inherits it ALL.