Wednesday, January 19, 2011
by Nell Pratt
from Sheila Connolly's Fundraising the Dead and Let's Play Dead
Don't bother me–I'm trying to run a museum here. Oh, sorry–that sounds kind of rude. But I've only been President of this place for a couple of months, and I'm still trying to figure out the job and how to manage forty underpaid and overworked employees, and find new ones at the ridiculously low salaries we offer, and keep the building from falling down around our ears, and...
Let me try that again. Welcome to the Pennsylvania Antiquarian Society. What can I do for you?
I wish people would stop replying, "help me sort out this murder."
Seriously. I was an English major in college, and most of my professional experience has been in non-profit fundraising. Where on my resume does it say "sleuth"?
Okay, the first crime took place on my turf, and I had a personal interest in making sure that was cleared up fast. But now Arabella Heffernan, president of Let's Play Children's Museum, has gotten herself in a mess, and I'm supposed to help her figure it out? I mean, she's a lovely lady, and it's a wonderful place (even though I don't have children, I do hear all sorts of nice things about it), but can't she handle her own dead bodies?
Apparently not. So here we go again, with me in the middle of things. Of course, that gives me a convenient excuse to work with Special Agent James Morrison of the FBI, and see if those sparks were for real or were only my imagination. Not that I have time to start anything with anybody new, what with running the Society and solving all these crimes. I knew Philadelphia had a fairly high crime rate, but this is ridiculous. Who would have thought museums were such dangerous places?
So please pardon me if I seem a bit distracted. I'm sure I'll be fine, once people stop dying in strange ways around here.