Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Letters to Lucy

From the mailbag of Lucy Valentine (from Heather Webber's Lucy Valentine novels).

(Note from Heather: This is a re-post of a guest blog I did for RT Book Reviews in February, but I really wanted to share it with all of you!)

Dear Lucy,
I have a big, big problem, and I hope you can help me. I “borrowed” one of my mother’s cocktail rings for a recent night on the town (it matched my outfit perfectly). I woke up the next morning after one too many mojitos and realized the ring was missing! I have no idea where I lost it—and I don’t really want to be cut out of the will. Can you help me?
-Comm Ave. Socialite

Dear Comm Ave Socialite,

I know what it’s like to lose a valuable piece of jewelry*. Unfortunately, in order for me to get a reading on the ring, I’d have to touch your mom’s hand. It’s not impossible, but it might be hard to explain. My advice is to make sure your mom’s jewelry isn’t costume stuff made to fool burglars while she has the real stash locked away in a safe deposit box. If the ring was fake, ‘fess up, count your blessings, and cut back on the mojitos. If it was real, give me a call at Valentine, Inc., and we’ll take it from there.
-Lucy

Dear Lucy,
You have to help me!!!! My, ah, significant other died recently without telling me the numbers of the offshore accounts. Is there any way you can contact him and get the information? I’ll be happy to reimburse you once I get the cash. I need to act soon before his wife catches on.!
-Mafia Mistress

Dear M.M.,
Sadly, my talents don’t extend to speaking to the dead. You may want to contact the FBI to see if there’s a reward for any information about the location of those accounts. Might not be as big a payout, but you’d be doing the right thing.
-Lucy

Dear Lucy,
I’m curious if you can see any babies playing in my future? I’m hoping my granddaughter will soon have children, but so far she’s refusing to supply her loving, doting, grandmother with scads of great-grandchildren. Can I look forward to the pitter-patter of tiny feet any time soon?
-Great-grandchildless in MA

Dear Dovie,
I am not amused.
-Lucy

Dear Lucy,
Are you out of your ever-loving mind? Do you want to see me dead? Thanks for a whole lot of nothing!
-Mafia Mistress

Dear Lucy,
I lost my dog, Mighty, just over six months ago, when he jumped a fence and disappeared. Any chance you could find him?
-Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,
Losing a pet is such a terrible, helpless feeling. I know from experience—I’ve lost two in recent weeks*. I can only get readings from inanimate objects, so if Mighty is still wearing his collar, I may be able to help. Set up an appointment with me at Valentine, Inc.
-Lucy

Dear Lucy,
Really, are there any great-grandchildren in my future? How long are you is my granddaughter going to make me wait?
-Great-grandchildless in MA

Dear Dovie,
Still not amused.
-Lucy

*As documented in the pages of Absolutely, Positively.


Another note from Heather: Ever wonder why I started writing or how I came up with Lucy Valentine? Here's your chance to find out: I'm being interviewed today over at Bitten by Paranormal RomanceHope you'll stop by.

21 comments:

  1. Love the interplay between Lucy and Dovie.

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  2. Dear Lucy,
    Where did last summer go?

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  3. Dru, I really love Dovie. She's one of my faves.

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  4. Dear Janet,

    Forget last summer. Where's spring? I'm on the case.

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  5. Now I really want to know how the Mafia Mistress does!

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  6. Dear Victoria,

    Unfortunately, I can't see into the future (except those little flashes I get with Sean), but I have a feeling Mafia Mistress is doing just fine.

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  7. Dovie really knows how to push your buttons, doesn't she, Lucy? I can understand where she's coming from though, so be gentle. Just wondering what you'd have to touch to give her an answer?

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  8. Dear Erika,

    She sure does! She, of all people, should know that children mean a big commitment. And Valentines and commitment don't do so well together.

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  9. Dear Lucy,

    I can't wait to learn more about your talents. Do you do girls nights out parties? It might be tons of fun to get a reading on all my friends and their futures. Not that I'm nosy or anything. ;-)

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  10. Lucy, you sound like such a fun gal! But why can't you see the future? I'm sure if you work on that skill, you'll get it. There are so many people in this world that claim they have it, you must be able to get it somewhere! LOL

    ~Avery
    AveryAames.com

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  11. Dear Dorothy,

    I'd like to get a reading on my future, too (especially where Sean is concerned)! Unfortunately, I can only find lost objects. I'm all for having Lost and Find party--let the planning begin.

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  12. Dear Avery,

    I wish I knew. Luckily, I recently met someone who might help me expand my abilities. Cross your fingers it works!

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  13. Lucy,

    I hope you 'see' a Mafia Mistress in a future book!

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  14. LOL, Shelley! I think Lucy would have herself a heart attack, but isn't that why we write? To torture our characters? :)

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  15. Dear Lucy,

    My girlfriend has gone on two (TWO!) dates with a new guy. Is this one going to work out? He doesn't seem like her type.

    ~ Krista

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  16. Dear Krista,
    Your friend really needs to talk to my dad Oscar. There's a reason (a secret one involving auras--shhh) that he's one of the most famous and successful matchmakers in the country. Call the office.

    PS: Is this guy in law enforcement by any chance? I'm getting a vibe that it will actually work out...

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  17. Lucy, you have a kind heart and a good head on your shoulders. You'll be my go-to gal for anything important that gets lost.

    I love your adventures too!

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  18. Dovie needs to find a better way to sign her letters if she wants a real answer.

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  19. Aww, thanks, Mary Jane. I may need to hire Charlotte to help me organize my life. I need all the help I can get.

    Nancy, Dovie is never one for subtlety!

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