By Pepper Martin from Casey Daniels' Pepper Martin Mysteries.
A blog? Really? You want me, Pepper Martin, star of Berkley Prime Crime’s Pepper Martin mystery series, to write a blog? Cute. Not to mention quaint. What, you people have never heard of social media? Blogs are so yesterday, and I am so a today kind of girl.
Which doesn’t mean I won’t cooperate. Sheesh, some days, cooperating and doing things my common sense tells me not to do is pretty much standard operating procedure. And just so nobody gets the idea that I am incredibly uncool, that cooperating usually has nothing to do with blogging.
Take for example, Quinn, the Cleveland Police homicide detective and on-again-off-again guy in my life. Cooperate? Well, I’m not sure you could call it that. Yes, he’s smokin’ hot, but with Quinn, I don’t as much cooperate as I do tolerate. Especially when it comes to him getting all bent out of shape because he thinks I stick my freckled nose in his cases where (he says), it doesn’t belong.
At least that’s what he used to say before he knew about the ghosts.
So I finally fessed up and told him I talk to those who are resting, but not at peace. Which he said proved I was a nutcase so he broke up with me. And that’s why he didn’t believe me just recently when I was investigating a case I like to call "A Hard Day’s Fright," and looking into the murder of a ghost who couldn’t get off a train, see, and–I guess I’m getting a little carried away.
Here’s the skinny: I’ve got this gig going, this whole Private Investigator for the dead thing. And it’s not like it’s something I’m thrilled about. It all started at the cemetery where I work as a tour guide, and at that cemetery, I tripped and hit my head on a mausoleum, and ever since then, I’ve got this Gift that’s non-returnable. The long and short of it–ghosts threaten to haunt me unless I take care of their unfinished business and help shoo them over to the Other Side.
So what do I do? I cooperate. And just to show what a good sport I am, I’ve got some tips for you. I mean, if you ever find yourself in the kind of spot I’m in, you can’t get too much information, right? So here goes, Pepper’s tips for dealing with the dead:
#1 Don’t. It’s better not to even get involved. Ghosts always want something and they never take "no" for an answer. No one can be as persistent--not to mention annoying--as the not-so-dearly departed.
#2 What they want usually involves being followed, getting shot at, and dealing with people who would definitely not get Mom’s seal of approval.
#3 The dead are incorporeal. They can’t do much for themselves. Except maybe make your life way too complicated. Remember the power of a bargaining chip. They want something? Make sure you get something in return.
#4 It helps to have back up. Like Quinn, for example, who even though he says he doesn’t believe I’ve got this mojo going, has saved my life a time or two. Then there’s Ella, my boss. Sweet woman. Honest. But even when she’s helping, she doesn’t have a clue what I’m up to.
As for the ghosts themselves . . . they like to think they’re backing me up and truth be told, even when they’re not exactly . . . er . . . helpful, I don’t tell them. Like I said, I cooperate.
It's better than being haunted.