Thursday, June 9, 2011

Uncle Charlie Revealed

Charlie Patukas from Denise Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries

I just want to make one thing clear; this whole blogging thing is the stupidest waste of time yet. The only reason I’m doing this is that my goddaughter Skye asked me to, and I’d do anything for that girl. Speaking of which I hear some of you have been wondering about my relationship with Skye’s mother.

Well, get your minds out of the gutter. May is like a daughter to me. We first met nearly forty years ago, when she and Jed started dating. Back then, I owned a bar called Key Largo (yes after the Bogie movie). May and Jed would come there to hang out with their friends and listen to the music. Because May has always had a heart of gold, and she knew I lived alone, she would bring me homemade baked goods—and the occasional pan of lasagna. About the time, May had Vince; I sold the bar (for a nice little profit) and bought the motor court.

Since most people are dumber than a box of rocks, I like to keep my hand in running Scumble River. I’m on the school board, I’m one of the city commissioners, and I’m also on the board for the recreational club. Not much happens in my hometown without my approval.

Even though I’m nearly eighty, I’m still real popular with the ladies. But I try to keep my relationships on the QT so I mainly see women who live out of town. Scumble River is a hotbed of gossip and I don’t want to be the object of the latest “did you hear” conversation.

About five years ago, I had a little trouble with the casino boats and promised May and Skye I’d quit gambling. I went to one of those GA meetings, but it was full of losers, so I never went back, but don’t tell May or Skye. I avoid the boats and little friendly poker game in someone’s garage or basement never hurt anyone. Right?

Are you keeping a secret from a loved one?

---Murder of a Creped Suzette, is the next adventure in which Charlie will appear. It will be out October 4, 2011.


  1. You sound like quite the guy, Charlie! And it's great you're such a mover & shaker at 80. As for's a secret!

  2. It's important to stay social (at any age), Charlie. As long as you keep to your budget, a little friend game now and then shouldn't cause too much trouble. As for secrets, they have funny ways of getting out and causing trouble. You might want to talk with May and Skye and let them know what you are doing.

  3. We all have secrets, as long as they don't hurt anyone, it's all good.