Dorothy Parker interviews Dr. Charles Norris, chief medical examiner of New York City. By J.J. Murphy
Mrs. Parker: We’re here today to discuss a new book, YOU MIGHT AS WELL DIE. In this story, a young artist attempts suicide to further his career. But, as you may expect, there’s much more to the story. Dr. Norris, you examined the young artist’s body, did you not?
Dr. Norris: I certainly did.
Mrs. Parker: And what did you determine?
Dr. Norris: I determined there are more attractive bodies I’d like to examine.
Mrs. Parker: Dr. Norris, stop winking at me like that. And please remove your hand from my knee.
Dr. Norris: But it’s such a pretty knee, Mrs. Parker—
Mrs. Parker: I have a lovely fist, as well. Would you like a good look at it? Right in your eye?
Dr. Norris: Ahem. I believe we’re supposed to be discussing a book or some such thing...
Mrs. Parker: Yes, we are. Did you know you have a small part in this book, Dr. Norris?
Dr. Norris: Heh heh. Believe me, Mrs. Parker, I have no small parts—if you know what I mean.
Mrs. Parker: I do, indeed. You’re referring to your ego, which is clearly quite large. Now back to this book—
Dr. Norris: Oh, put that book away and give me a kiss.
Mrs. Parker: Dr. Norris! You’re the first chief medical examiner of New York. You reformed the abuses of the coroner system and, by sheer force of will, you raised the office from a warren of graft to one of scientific rigor and dedicated investigation. And you’re begging me for a kiss?
Dr. Norris: Hmm, are you offering something else...?
Mrs. Parker: Yes, I am. This book. Start with the title.
Dorothy Parker has met many famous people in her lifetime. Which famous figure would you interview if you could reach back in history? (And would you let them have a kiss?)