Monday, April 16, 2012

Someone Needs Killing!


Consignment: Murder series Berkley Prime Crime October, 2012

I can't tell you who I am because then you'll call the police and I'll go to jail. What I can tell you is there's this woman here in Savannah and she needs killing bad!

She treats folks downright terrible, swindling them out of money, bribing some and blackmailing others. She acts all uppity and thinks she’s better than everyone else, breaks up marriages and even called my dog a mutt! The question was how to git rid of her...permanently?

There are so many wonderful choices that do the job fine. Pulling a trigger is fast and easy. You have to dispose of the weapon so it can’t get traced back to you but it works just great. Bang! Dead! Body on ground! Done!


What about a knife. That’s sort of personal ‘cause you have to get close to the person that needs killing. That can be real good if you’ve been wanting them dead for a while and it finally happens. Yippee!


Then there’s the poison route. They say it’s the number one choice for women. My guess it that women do all the cleaning in this world and the thought of making a big mess…and stabbing and knifing is so very messy…women want things neat and tidy. Drink poison, drop over dead. Easy-peasy.


Suffocation works but I think it’s hard to hold someone down and keep the pillow over their face. It takes a while to pull it off and trying to keep someone still while depriving them of oxygen sounds like a whole lot of work if you ask me.



Banging on the head works good. Whack! The person needing killing falls to the floor and lights out! This is usually a crime of passion where someone pisses someone off and they just need to be knocked! This is how I feel!

So my question is how should I knock off this person who needs killing? What is your favorite method of getting rid of someone…permanently??

See you later...

8 comments:

  1. Um...Don't kill the messenger, but someone needs to say this: I think you might need to seek professional help...and not from an assassin. There are better ways to work through your problems.

    But I DO love the cover!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do a Henry VIII. Marry them, then send them to the block.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm morally against killing anyone, unless it is in print. So I vote that you write down your deepest, darkest thoughts and plans, then send them to the police force, with your name, address and telephone number attached. Good enough?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent plan, Victoria. Think about it, villain (sorry for the nasty name, but you didn't divulge your real one.)

      Delete
  4. Oh but this person has so messed up my life... She just needs to go. She even tried to get me fired from my job. Is there no end to this?? Then again if I put an end to her...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Usually the murderer gets caught...just saying! Perhaps you should re-focus. Surely there are ways to make her life miserable. Rumors are a nice touch.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe I can get away with it. I've got a really good plan. I know, I'll start a rumor and blame it on somone else.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I get someone else mad at them and let them do the dirty work for me! LOL J/K

    ReplyDelete