Saturday, June 9, 2012
Earl Pleads His Case
Earl Doozier from Denise Swanson’s Murder of the Cat’s Meow (coming September 4, 2012)
My name is Earl Budweiser Doozier. My daddy gots my middle name from his favorite beer. Miz Swanson sez that here readers really wants to hear from me so I agreed to write this—well I dictated it to her since I is not too good at that whole writin’ stuff down stuff. And truth be told, I is not entirely sure what a blog is. My boy junior sez it’s folks blabbin’ about theyself on the computer. But who wants to read about other folks’ crap?
Anyways, Miz Skye is sorta peeved at me ‘cause a somethin’ that happened at that storage place auction and Miz Swanson says mayhaps this will put me back in Miz Skye’s good graces. But I asks you, how was I supposed to know that a as#$@!^&, oops, pardon my French, that a jerk wad was going to go all Conan the Barbarian on me when I out bid him? And it’s not as if Miz Skye got hurt. Heck, it was lots better’en the time she got in the way of Glenda’s paint ball gun. That orange is harder’en chicken shit to get off’en you.
Speakin’ my little love puppy, Glenda was sure enough happy about what happened to Miz Skye. That woman jus don’ like Miz Skye and nothin’ I sez or do seems to change her mind. Mayhaps she’s jealous. Not that she needs to be. I think of Miz Skye the same way, I think of my dog Blue. Oh, waits a minute, Glenda don’ like my hound either. Hmm! That’s somethin’ I need to ponder.
Well, thinkin’ makes me thirsty, so is done jammerin’ here. If you all want to join me, bring your own six-pack ‘cause I don’ share my Pabst Blue Ribbon. A course, if you can tell me how to make Miz Skye forget she’s POed at me, I allowances might be made. I sure do want to make up with Miz Skye before her wedding. I hear that’s goin’ be quite the shindig and I don’ want not to be invited to it.
How about you? Is there someone you’d like to make up with that thinks you done them wrong?
You can read the whole story September 4 in a book called Murder of the Cat’s Meow. If’en you’re the sorta person who reads.