My name is Lola Van Horn, and I’m the one to call. Of course, I’ll need someone to blow on the candle in the middle of the table so you’ll think I’m actually communicating with the restless souls who are looking to go through life’s portals to the hereafter.
You might think this is cruel and call me a phony, but I gotta tell you, when my girl Jordan from the Clueless Cook series asked me to do this for a friend who thought her grandfather’s lake house was haunted, I was hesitant. But she convinced me that her friend would lose her inheritance if we didn’t make her believe there were no ghosts in the house.
Sheesh! Halfway through my Academy-Award-winning performance, we were all spooked, convinced that not only were the ghosts there in the room with us, but that they were after us as well.
Of course, we all know there aren’t really any ghosts hanging around, don’t we?
You’ll have to read BEEF STOLEN-OFF to find out what happened.