Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Who's in charge? Let me tell you





An important message from the cat-in-charge

The Christie Curse: a book collector's mystery 
By Victoria Abbott 

Coming March 5, 2013 

From Berkley Prime Crime










 Perhaps you are unaware that cats are in charge. You may have been living under a rock or something. At any rate, this would be a good time to get with the program. Some cats are more in charge than others. I have been a ruling cat for some years now, in the historic building that is the Van Alst House in Harrison Falls, New York. It has been in the hands of the Van Alst family since the late 1800’s. There has always been an important cat on the premises.
You can tell I’m important because I am Siamese and my portrait is on the wall. My chief staff member, Vera Van Alst had it painted and also (for reasons not totally clear) had one done of my littermate, What’s-its-name. As you can see, I am the beauty in the family.  

Here’s the situation:  this place has been an excellent home, good food prepared by the Italian cook, Senora Panetone, valuable antiques to leap from and onto. I particularly like the black walnut sideboard with the Sheraton dining set, the feather beds and all the secret hiding places. Everything was wonderful until she came. I can barely say her name, but you need to know, so, for the record, it’s Jordan Bingham. She claims to be an honest researcher, but I have heard Vera mention that her relatives are nothing but a bunch of crooks. I think I can use that against her.
This is a young human who doesn’t realize the importance of the right environment for a thinking cat; in fact, she seems to have little knowledge of our species at all.  That is shocking. I regularly rake her ankles with my lovely sharp claws so that she’ll get the hint and leave, but so far, no joy. My littermate is a bit of an appeaser and has been making nice. What’s that about?
All to say, I’m getting a petition together. Now, you must write a letter to Miss Van Alst emphasizing that Jordan Bingham and that unspeakable snorting creature, Walter the Pug, have no place in our world and should have the boots put to them forthwith, before my life is completely ruined. Go back to reading your books when you’re finished. I will be grateful to you, although that may not be immediately obvious. 

In the meantime, is there anything else you can do for me?


P.S. Whatever you do, DO NOT check out these people at www.victoria-abbott.com

15 comments:

  1. Yes, I can see your problem, cat-in-charge. However, I worry. Are there dangerous events in your future? Like, murder, for instance?

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    1. Murder schmurder, I'm more worried about the smug pug. Thinking about how to rig up a trap door. Not so easy with paws. Hmmm.

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you. I'd admire you back, but it's not my style.

      The Cat.

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  3. Years ago the ancient Egyptians worshiped cats as gods. Cats have not forgotten.

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  4. You are so right, cat-in-charge, and what a beauty you are! Although we must say, our servant, Lizzie Turner, doesn't give us any grief and most often, anticipates our needs. Hope you find the purr-fect solution.

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    1. Good to talk, Brie and Edam. Let's stay in touch (as long as you keep to your own territory). I am a beauty.

      Glad your servant is under control. Good work.

      The (beautiful) cat.

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  5. What a lovely face you have cat....and evidently a mind that is just as beautiful...and typical of most cats...brilliant.

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  6. Thank you, Annette. It's all true.

    The (beautiful) cat.

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  7. Ah. Treats from an Italian cook is the best. My original human just died, so I moved in with her friend Erin Murphy, who's half Italian despite her name. She is a much better cook. So, I think things will work out.

    Mr. Sandburg, from The Food Lovers' Village Mysteries

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  8. Glad for you, Mr. S, even though everything is about me.

    Yours,

    The cat-in-charge.

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  9. You look very fine Cat-in-charge. Are you related to Koko and solve mysteries for your human as well?

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  10. I'm looking forward to meeting you, Cat-in-Charge. Although I may have to restrain my shih tzu, Mingo.

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