P.S. Whatever you do, DO NOT check out these people at www.victoria-abbott.com
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Who's in charge? Let me tell you
An important message from the cat-in-charge
The Christie Curse: a book collector's mystery
By Victoria Abbott
Coming March 5, 2013
From Berkley Prime Crime
Perhaps you are unaware that cats are in charge. You may
have been living under a rock or something. At any rate, this would be a good
time to get with the program. Some cats are more in charge than others. I have
been a ruling cat for some years now, in the historic building that is the Van
Alst House in Harrison Falls, New York. It has been in the hands of the Van
Alst family since the late 1800’s. There has always been an important cat on
the premises.
You can tell I’m important because I am Siamese and my
portrait is on the wall. My chief staff member, Vera Van Alst had it painted
and also (for reasons not totally clear) had one done of my littermate,
What’s-its-name. As you can see, I am the beauty in the family.
Here’s the situation:
this place has been an excellent home, good food prepared by the Italian
cook, Senora Panetone, valuable antiques to leap from and onto. I particularly
like the black walnut sideboard with the Sheraton dining set, the feather beds
and all the secret hiding places. Everything was wonderful until she came. I can barely say her name, but
you need to know, so, for the record, it’s Jordan Bingham. She claims to be an
honest researcher, but I have heard Vera mention that her relatives are nothing
but a bunch of crooks. I think I can use that against her.
This is a young human who doesn’t realize the importance of
the right environment for a thinking cat; in fact, she seems to have little
knowledge of our species at all. That is
shocking. I regularly rake her ankles with my lovely sharp claws so that she’ll
get the hint and leave, but so far, no joy. My littermate is a bit of an
appeaser and has been making nice. What’s that about?
All to say, I’m getting a petition together. Now, you must write a
letter to Miss Van Alst emphasizing that Jordan Bingham and that unspeakable
snorting creature, Walter the Pug, have no place in our world and should have
the boots put to them forthwith, before my life is completely ruined. Go back
to reading your books when you’re finished. I will be grateful to you, although
that may not be immediately obvious.
In the meantime, is there anything else you can do for me?
P.S. Whatever you do, DO NOT check out these people at www.victoria-abbott.com
P.S. Whatever you do, DO NOT check out these people at www.victoria-abbott.com
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Yes, I can see your problem, cat-in-charge. However, I worry. Are there dangerous events in your future? Like, murder, for instance?
ReplyDeleteMurder schmurder, I'm more worried about the smug pug. Thinking about how to rig up a trap door. Not so easy with paws. Hmmm.
DeleteI'll be happy to admire you!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'd admire you back, but it's not my style.
DeleteThe Cat.
Years ago the ancient Egyptians worshiped cats as gods. Cats have not forgotten.
ReplyDeleteIndeed.
DeleteThe Cat.
You are so right, cat-in-charge, and what a beauty you are! Although we must say, our servant, Lizzie Turner, doesn't give us any grief and most often, anticipates our needs. Hope you find the purr-fect solution.
ReplyDeleteGood to talk, Brie and Edam. Let's stay in touch (as long as you keep to your own territory). I am a beauty.
DeleteGlad your servant is under control. Good work.
The (beautiful) cat.
What a lovely face you have cat....and evidently a mind that is just as beautiful...and typical of most cats...brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Annette. It's all true.
ReplyDeleteThe (beautiful) cat.
Ah. Treats from an Italian cook is the best. My original human just died, so I moved in with her friend Erin Murphy, who's half Italian despite her name. She is a much better cook. So, I think things will work out.
ReplyDeleteMr. Sandburg, from The Food Lovers' Village Mysteries
Glad for you, Mr. S, even though everything is about me.
ReplyDeleteYours,
The cat-in-charge.
We know cats are royalty.
ReplyDeleteYou look very fine Cat-in-charge. Are you related to Koko and solve mysteries for your human as well?
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to meeting you, Cat-in-Charge. Although I may have to restrain my shih tzu, Mingo.
ReplyDelete