by Hyacinth Fiske and Primrose Hoyt
owners of the Love Nest Bed & Breakfast
Arsenic and Old Cake by Jacklyn Brady
Hello? Is anybody there?
Don't be ridiculous, Primrose. Nobody is actually there. We're on what's called a blog. On the internet. People are just going to read what the two of us have to say. They can't actually hear us talking.
They can't? Oh how disappointing. But, I guess that means I can say just about anything I want, doesn't it?
Absolutely not! Gracious, the way you talk. Haven't you learned anything in the past forty years? Some things aren't meant to be blabbed about where everybody can hear. Some things are better kept quiet. You should know that by now. Please, y'all, just ignore my sister. And Primrose, why don't you go and polish the silver or dust the dining room table? Leave these nice people to me. I'm sure they don't want to hear your stories.
Oh. Of course. You might be right, I suppose. But what if you aren't? What if they want to know what's going on around here? Shouldn't we tell them the truth?
The truth? Why on earth would we do that? Hush now. Go find something to keep yourself busy.
I don't think I will. It's just like you to boss me around, but I'm not going to put up with it today. Honestly, I'm . . . eighty-- Well, never you mind exactly how old I am. Let's just say that I'm old enough not to be bossed around by my older sister, especially not in front of guests.
They could be paying guests, Primrose. That is, they could be if you don't run them off with all your chit-chat. If you won't go dust, why don't you do run into the back and fetch a handful of those brochures we just had printed up. Maybe you could tell them a little bit about the Love Nest.
Oh! Sister! What a wonderful idea. Here y'all, just look at this. Have you ever seen more romantic rooms than these? The Valentine Suite has a jetted tub and a king-sized bed, plus there's a private balcony overlooking the garden. It's lovely. Just lovely. If you don't like that one, there's my personal favorite, Nights in White Satin. So dreamy...
Yes. Absolutely. Dreamy. I think that's enough for now. Let the people catch their breath.
They won't want to catch their breath if they get a look at the Honeymooner Suite. That one has a heart-shaped bed, a heart-shaped tub and mood lighting. Perfect for a couple of love-birds! But, oh! Hyacinth! I just had a thought. You don't think these nice people would let a little thing like murder keep them from coming to stay at the Love Nest, do you?
Hush! Now, sister, that's exactly what I was talking about earlier. Just between you and me, I don't think we should bring up that nasty business in front of potential customers. Or in front of anybody else for that matter. In fact, I think it would be best to forget all about it. Let's just pretend it never happened. Just smile and act as if nothing is wrong. You can do that, can't you?
Well of course I can. I've been doing it half my life already. Y'all just forget I said anything about murder, all right? Now, what do you say? Are you ready to book a suite with us for your honeymoon?
Arsenic and Old Cake is the third Piece of Cake mystery. Watch for #4 -- The Cakes of Wrath in September 2013.