Friday, May 10, 2013

The Curious Affair of the Dog that Didn't Quite Disappear

Diesel the Maine Coon from the Cat in the Stacks series by Miranda James

Certain rumors have come to my attention lately, and although I normally don't pay attention to gossip and innuendo, I decided that I really should set the record straight in this instance.

Apparently there has been talk about the non-appearance of Dante the poodle in the chronicles of my recent adventures with Charlie, my human companion. One rumor has it that I did away with the little guy (in case you don't know about Dante, he is much smaller than I am, and I can squash him with one paw behind my back if ever I need to) because I didn't want him stealing my thunder. (Isn't that the expression? Humans do say the oddest things. Why I would have thunder in the first place I surely do not know.)


Another rumor purports that I go behind the human who writes down these adventures and, by a judicious use of the delete key, simply edit Dante out without the knowledge of the typist. Again, not true. My paw is actually much too large, and I also don't know how to use the computer. The human has to do all that, but of course I watch and read to make sure I am not misquoted.

Frankly I'm astonished that the simplest explanation -- which so often happens to be the true one -- hasn't occurred to those scandal-mongering persons who have tried to malign me. That dog is always getting dirty -- they are revolting in the way that they like to roll in the most disgusting things -- so Stewart is forever taking him somewhere to be bathed and cleaned. Cats are perfectly capable of cleaning themselves, and I personally would never roll in, well, you probably know what dogs like to roll around in as well as I do.

So there's your explanation. If the daft little dog would stop getting dirty so much, he'd be around more often when Charlie and I are in the middle of an investigation. I've heard that poodles are, in general, an intelligent breed. Dante -- not so much. There's one in every family, of course. Dante is ours.

5 comments:

  1. You are so right Diesel, dogs do disgusting things. But I do hope you are not going to swat him with your paws when he does appear in the next book.

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  2. Ahem! Cats like to smell like cat spit. Cat spit, really. Boring! We doggies bathe ourselves in much more interesting scents.

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  3. Ah, Sally-Forth and Tally-Ho, I figured you two would have something to say about this. Your chosen scents may be interesting to you, but the humans you live with don't like them. When I bathe myself I don't get taken to the bathtub, water hose, or groomer, unlike you. I don't really think I need say more.

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    Replies
    1. What is it with humans and water and flowery fragrances? Yuck!

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  4. Well said, Diesel! Perhaps someday soon I can interview you for my blog!

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