Diesel the Maine Coon from the Cat in the Stacks series by Miranda James
Certain rumors have come to my attention lately, and although I normally don't pay attention to gossip and innuendo, I decided that I really should set the record straight in this instance.
Apparently there has been talk about the non-appearance of Dante the poodle in the chronicles of my recent adventures with Charlie, my human companion. One rumor has it that I did away with the little guy (in case you don't know about Dante, he is much smaller than I am, and I can squash him with one paw behind my back if ever I need to) because I didn't want him stealing my thunder. (Isn't that the expression? Humans do say the oddest things. Why I would have thunder in the first place I surely do not know.)
Another rumor purports that I go behind the human who writes down these adventures and, by a judicious use of the delete key, simply edit Dante out without the knowledge of the typist. Again, not true. My paw is actually much too large, and I also don't know how to use the computer. The human has to do all that, but of course I watch and read to make sure I am not misquoted.
Frankly I'm astonished that the simplest explanation -- which so often happens to be the true one -- hasn't occurred to those scandal-mongering persons who have tried to malign me. That dog is always getting dirty -- they are revolting in the way that they like to roll in the most disgusting things -- so Stewart is forever taking him somewhere to be bathed and cleaned. Cats are perfectly capable of cleaning themselves, and I personally would never roll in, well, you probably know what dogs like to roll around in as well as I do.
So there's your explanation. If the daft little dog would stop getting dirty so much, he'd be around more often when Charlie and I are in the middle of an investigation. I've heard that poodles are, in general, an intelligent breed. Dante -- not so much. There's one in every family, of course. Dante is ours.