Hola! My name is Bruno, and I'm a Chihuahua. I was homeless a few months ago, but now I am home-full! I moved in with Myra Jenkins. Myra needs me very much. I am her television companion, her protector, her snuggler, and her best friend.
She has a boyfriend. His name is Mark. I like Mark okay. He's a good guy, and he helps me look out for Myra. Of course, he realizes I'm the man of the house but that I am all right with his spending time with Myra so I can do my own thing once in a while.
Myra has another friend named Daphne. I love Daphne. She brought Myra and me together in a way. See, I was on Myra's porch. I was kinda hungry and lost, so it's possible I came across as a little irritable. Myra called Daphne to come over. She must've told Daphne I was hungry because Daphne brought me some roast beef. It was so good. I was tempted to follow Daphne home, but I felt like Myra needed me more.
One day last week, Daphne called Myra. Then she came over and put something in our oven. It smelled delicious! It was something called brownies that the women wouldn't share with me. Myra said it was dangerous for me to have, but if any of that stuff ever hits the floor, I'm going to see for myself!
Anyway, while they were talking, I figured out that Daphne's oven was on the fritz. That's bad news for Daphne because baking and decorating cakes is her business. I licked Daphne's ankles to reassure her that if she never got her oven fixed and became so poor she had to sell her house, Myra and I would take her in. Of course, some guy named Ben is supposed to be marrying Daphne, but that hasn't happened yet. So I'm not sure about him, but Daphne's got us.
So those brownies were baking and making our house smell wonderful when Daphne burst through the door, crumpled onto the floor, and started crying. Like the brave warrior I am, I dove into her arms and licked her face.
"Do not worry, scared Daphne! Bruno is here!"
Myra hugged her and called the police. I continued to let her cuddle me while I remained vigilant. Just let somebody come through that door after our Daphne. Let 'em try to get through me!
When Officer McAfee arrived and offered to protect Daphne from something called "Todd," I respectfully stepped down. The man had a gun. I have no need of weapons myself, other than my wits and brute strength, but I decided that perhaps this Todd creature needed to be shot. I let Officer McAfee know that I'd take care of things at our house and that he could go on over to Daphne's house and exterminate the vermin called Todd.
Maybe I should've offered to go with the police officer and Daphne to battle the Todd, but I felt I had to stay and protect my Myra. She needs me, you know.