Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Hide and Watch Me!

by Aunt Bess from The Calamity Cafe
Gayle Leeson

That’s what I tell people who say I’m too old to do this or that. I say, “Hide and watch me!” I’m eighty-two. So what? That’s nothing but a number. I can go and do just about as good as I could thirty years ago.

For my eightieth birthday, I decided I wanted to get in on all this Internet stuff the kids are doing. So I asked for a computer. My niece Jenna—she lives with me, you know—said, “Now, Aunt Bess, you don’t need a computer. You can use mine.”

“Well, I don’t want to use yours,” I said. “I want my own.”

So she and her daughter Amy and my granddaughter Jackie all went in together and bought me this little laptop. That’s what they call it. It’s a computer you can put on your lap. But if you put it on your lap and don’t have a tray or something underneath it, it’s gonna get your legs hot, I’ll tell you that. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing in the winter, but I’d rather not burn up in the summer. That’s why I had Jackie go over to the store and get me this contraption that has a wooden top like a desk and a beanbag bottom. It’s nice. It’s curved to fit around your middle, so you can plop your laptop right down on that desk of a thing and surf around that Internet all day or until a good program comes on, you decide you’d rather be reading, or your battery dies—whichever comes first.

One of the sites I like is the Pinterest. Do y’all have the Pinterest? It’s a wonderful thing. You sign up for an account—for free, they don’t charge you a thing—and they let you make what they call boards. You give these boards names and then you can put pictures up on them. For instance, one of my boards is called People I’ve Outlived. That can be a sad, sad board. It has pictures of Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson, Cary Grant, one of the neighbor women, Princess Diana and Robin Williams (those two purt near broke my heart when I added them), and Saddam Hussein. It didn’t really bother me too awful much to put him up on the board. I didn’t know him, and they said on the news that he was real mean.

I have this other board called Things I’d Love to Eat. That’s one of my favorites. If you’ve never been to the Pinterest, they have the biggest bunch of recipes you ever did see. They have recipes for specific diets, foods you can make in a hurry, party foods, and desserts. I love desserts. I’ve pinned me a whole slew of desserts on my Things I’d Love to Eat board. The thing is, Amy and Jackie use that board to see what I might want to have when they come over to cook me and Jenna Sunday lunch.

One time, Amy asked me, “Aunt Bess, you do know there are other foods out there besides dessert, don’t you?”

I told her, “Yes, ma’am, I do, but I’m eighty-two years old. And if I want to have a meal that’s all desserts, by crackie, I’ll have it.”


She laughed and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She’ll be old one of these days, and I’ll remind her of that little remark about the desserts. What about you? What's your favorite thing to eat?

8 comments:

  1. Pizza is my favorite food to eat, thin or thick crust I'll take either one. Love your books, keep them coming. Linda May

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  2. I love pizza but I could eat various forms of Asian food three times a day. Many years ago I hosted a dinner (called a Seudah in Hebrew) for the holiday of Purim (that's the one about Queen Esther). I made a seven course Chinese dinner which started with soup and ended with fortune cookies and non-dairy ice cream.

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  3. My favorite thing to eat is Dr. Pepper Chocolate Cake. It is awesome -- moist and delicious, and the icing tastes like fudge. A close second is chips with queso (salsa too). YUM!

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