Happy National Kitten Day from Mouse, calico kitten extraordinaire from Tracy Weber’s Pre-Meditated Murder. And may I say, no better holiday exists than one that celebrates all things kitten!
I made my debut in Tracy's current book, but rumor has it that I’ll also make an appearance in Book 6, Murder Likes it Hot, which will come out in January of 2019. For those of you who haven’t met me before, I’m polydactyl, which means that I have extra toes. Bella, my German shepherd slave, thinks my extra toes give me feline superpowers, but she's wrong. I'm 100% superpowered, from my cute pointy ears to the white-painted hairs at the tip of my tail.
How do I plan to celebrate my very own national holiday, you ask? Well, July is pretty warm here in Seattle, so I'll probably take an afternoon nap in one of the living room's sun puddles. After that, I'll play "stalk and pounce" with Bella's tail.
I like Bella. A lot. She protects me and washes my fur with her black-spotted tongue. Her humans? Well, they can move out any time. I tell them that every day. You'd think that hissing and spitting at them would be enough, but they're pretty dense, so sometimes I'm forced to give them a swipe with seven of my fourteen front claws.
In spite of the loud swearing that results, not even drawing blood seems to work. Humans are pretty stupid, I guess. They think making baby noises and showing me their teeth (they call it smiling) will win me over.
The last time I let Kate get near enough to touch me, she whisked me into a cage and catnapped me. Believe me, that’s a mistake I won’t make twice. As long as Kate rubs catnip on my scratching post and Michael brings me treats from his pet food store, I'll allow them to live here.
If they stop? Well, they have to fall asleep sometime...
Pre-Meditated Murder the fifth Downward Dog Mystery, is available now!