I mean, hello.
Listen, I'm not sure what to do here, but I maybe have some bad news. Y'see, Grace Wheaton -- that new girl over at Marshfield Manor -- she was supposed to be here, right now, to introduce herself and talk to you all.
Me? I'm Ronny Tooney. You can call me Ron even though nobody else does. I wish they would. They all call me.... well, never mind what they call me.
Here's the thing. Just because I got my PI license through an online course and I've never actually done any real private investigating doesn't automatically mean I'd be bad at it. I've got to be good at something, right?
Grace doesn't trust me. At. All. In fact, she thinks I killed Abe, the head curator. She's pretty darned convinced of it. I swear on my momma's soul, I didn't. If I did would I be here telling you she's missing? Grace, that is, not my momma. No. And don't give me any of those "You're just trying to shift suspicion elsewhere" lines. I'm innocent. Just trying to make a go with this new career.
I'm not allowed on Marshfield property anymore, and the pictures I took of it last time I was there didn't come out, but this place looks a little like it...
Anyway, it isn't like I stalk Grace or anything, but I make it my business to know her business. Can I help it that she gets creeped out that I'm always hanging around? But if I don't stay on her radar, she'll forget about me. She's got the power to retain my services. But she won't. Too many people warning her against me. Including that gardener fellow, Jack. He's sweet on Grace I think. But he's trouble himself. Never has a kind word for me and I swear if no one was looking, he'd clock me but good. I'm not looking to date her, guy, I'm looking for a job!
Anyway, the important thing is that Grace isn't here. She should be. I hacked into her email and saw the reminder she set for herself. Don't know where she could be. She was supposed to go meet a guy. Shoulda been back by now. I'm starting to get worried.
Hey, while I'm here...do you need the services of a PI? I hire out cheap. Seriously. I'd love to help. If you need me, you can find me in the the first book of the new Manor House Mystery series, Grace Under Pressure, by Julie Hyzy. I'm in there. I play an important role, but I'm trying to figure out a way to make it bigger.
Oh, it's too late? The book was just released June 1st? Dang!
Well, if you're ever looking for discreet help. I'm your man. I mean, before I arrived here today, did you even know Grace was missing? I bet you didn't. I figured it out before anybody else.
And no, it isn't because I abducted her myself...
Oh, hey... here come the cops. I'm outta here!