Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Can I Have a Do-Over?

by Tally Jones
from Wendy Lyn Watson's "Scoop to Kill"

Y'all might have read a thing or two about the adventures I've had over the past couple of years: the highs and lows of my ice cream parlor, the Remember the A-la-mode; the feast and famine cycle of my love life; and the bumper crop of dead bodies here in Dalliance, Texa. But before I became an ice cream entrepreneur, a lovelorn single lady, or a murder suspect, I was married to Wayne Jones. It was almost exactly two years ago that our marriage went ka-blewy. Seventeen years of marriage, gone in a snap.

Maybe Wayne was faithful during the first couple of years after we said "I do." Maybe. But if so, he made up for lost time by hooking up with a dizzying array of women. I'll give him this: he had eclectic tastes. Old, young, fat, thin, classy, skanky . . . if a person had two X chromosomes, Wayne was interested. Everyone in town knew about his tomcatting, too. Everyone but me.

I've spent plenty of time over the past couple of years playing the "what if" game. If I could go back in time, would I still marry Wayne? Were those seventeen years nothing but a waste?

Last month, Bree convinced me to wear this hellacious body shaper thingie she found at the department store. I near passed out getting into it, hated every minute of wearing it, and couldn't wait to take it off. But it did the job: it made me look like a million bucks in my New Years party dress.

I've come to think of Wayne "the Pain" Jones like that body shaper: can't say that I loved being married to him, couldn't wait to sign the divorce papers ... but I like what all that suffering did for me.

When you get down to brass tacks, I wouldn't be the same person I am today without those years with Wayne. Now I'm happily involved with a wonderful man, and if I hadn't stayed with Wayne as long as I did, if I hadn't become single at just the right time, I might have missed him ... and that would be a crying shame.

I haven't told Wayne that I liken him to an uncomfortable undergarment. I think I'll keep that between us. But I've definitely decided that, in the end, I would marry Wayne the Pain all over again.

What about you? If you could go back in time, is there something you would undo in your past? Some choice you'd un-choose?

Wendy Lyn Watson is the author of the Mysteries a la Mode ("I Scream, You Scream," "Scoop to Kill," and the forthcoming "A Parfait Murder") Be sure to visit her website or find her on Facebook.

Up tomorrow ... one of Jenn McKinlay's amazing characters!


  1. I often say that if I had a choice, I'd undo my first marriage (except for the kids, of course!) But then Chris reminds me that if I had, then we might not have met, and as you say, that would be a crying shame. As it is, it still scares me to think just how "chance" our meeting each other really was.

  2. There are a few things I'd like to do-over, but on the whole life has been very good to me.

    As for Wayne, I think he'd actually like being compared to an undergarment, uncomfortable or not.

  3. A dear friend of mine gave me autographed copies of you first two books. I can't wait to read them, but I've put them on my collector's shelf with my other prized autographed books and just picked up copies from the library. Looking forward to reading about your adventures.

  4. We wouldn't be who we are if not for the ride of getting there, right? And if you like who you are...

  5. Imagine being capable of smiling with such delight while wearing one uncomfortable undergarment and contemplating another . . .

  6. Oh, gosh! There are plenty of moments I'd like to do over. But I always remember Dolly Parton saying, "I'm the kind of person who would rather rock in my rocking chair when I'm old and regret a few things that I did than to sit there and regret that I never tried..." I think Dolly's onto something!

    ~ Krista

  7. I'm glad to hear so many of you are living without regret ... that's great!

  8. Regrets, I've had a few ... but I am happy to be who I am today, living the life I lead. I like who you are too, Tally, and am glad you have a suitably dramatic background.

    The shaper connection is hilarious. That's for that.

  9. Love how Wayne = a painful undergarment! Priceless.
    I'm sure we all have regrets, but I have no complaints. Krista's Dolly Parton quote is right on. I think Mark Twain said something similar, but I can't recall it right now. But he says we're always more regretful over missed opportunities than about mistakes.

  10. There are a few things I'd do-over. I'd definitely like to have been smarter in my choices during my twenties. But, like Julie, no complaints. Lots of sad, sad songs written about regrets.


  11. I love the comparison. So very true, though, that all our experiences - good and bad - have made us who we are today.

  12. What's that saying, if I had known then what I know now....No regrets but sometimes I wonder, "what if?" Not for long, though. I love the painful undergarment analogy!

  13. All those things we wished to do-over, made us who we are today.

    I do love that Tally compares Wayne to undergarment.

    I can't wait to find out who Tally's boyfriend is.

  14. I love where I'm at now, so wouldn't want to change anything that got me here.