Sunday, July 10, 2011

Everything was great until…

by Dweezil, from BLOOD SECRETS, book 2 of the Alexandra Sabian series by Jeannie Holmes

You may assume that being a cat entitles me to an easy life. You would be correct. My kind has been worshipped as gods for ages. We are intelligent. We are beautiful. We are focused in our—Bird! On the balcony!

Hello, Pretty Blue Feathers. Don’t mind me. I just want to be friends. What is this barrier? It’s hard and cold, and I feel it but I can’t see it. So, Pretty Blue Feathers, you have an invisible force field. Very well. If you don’t want to be friends…

What was I talking about? Oh yes. I’m a cat. My name is Dweezil, by the way. It’s a funny name, I know, but considering an unfortunate sibling was graced with the name “Princess Fairyblossom von Sparkleton,” I’ll accept Dweezil. Besides, my companion is a vampire. It’s not like her mind works in the same way as a human.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, scary vampire! How can you live with a bloodthirsty monster?” Actually, Alexandra—She prefers to be called Alex, but I find it too strange to call a woman by a man’s name.—isn’t your typical vampire. First of all, she’s a police officer, a federal agent to be exact. She’s very nice when she isn’t stressing out over some random act of—What is that wonderful smell?

‘nip! Oh, Green Mousey Toy! I thought I lost you to the Big Squishy Cushion Thing! I love you, Green Mousey Toy. I’m never letting you out of my sight again… What was that? Are you talking to me, Green Mousey Toy? I am not! Take it back! You little… Run away! Hide under the Big Chilly Kitchen Box! See if I care… Stupid Green Mousey Toy…

What were we discussing? Ah—Alexandra, yes. I remember now. As I was saying, she’s very nice for a vampire when she isn’t worried about some murder, upstart drug dealer, her brother—He’s also a vampire and gives the most amazing belly rubs.—or that new guy, What’s His Face, who’s been hanging around. Varik, I believe is what she called him. Yes, he’s a vampire, too.

This brings me to my point. Everything was going great for Alexandra and me until What’s His Face showed up. He seems okay, and I can tell Alexandra likes him even though she tries to hide it. I was willing to make allowances for him not knowing the rules and even taking my spot on the Big Squishy Cushion Thing next to her. I thought alternating between glaring at him and shunning him would encourage him to leave. It hasn’t. You know what this means, right? This means—

Wow, I’m hungry. Wonder if there’s any food in the bowl? Kibble. Again. I suppose it’s better than nothing. I can’t blame Alexandra for not springing for the good stuff. She’s been stressed with this new case—something about a missing college student. And Alexandra’s mother is also in town. I swear if the woman steps on my tail one more time…

Anyway, back to What’s His Face. It’s become apparent that he’s not going to leave. Therefore, I have no choice but to either use his leg—which is much longer than Alexandra’s by the way—as a Scratching Climbing Tower or accept him. I suppose he’s not all that bad. He does seem to care for Alexandra, but I can see the dark cloud trailing behind him and I smell death on him. So I worry.  I don’t want to see Alexandra hurt because of—

Scary Shadow on the wall! It moved! It’s gonna eat me! Run! Down the hall! Hide on the bed! No! More shadows here! In the closet! Ooooh—dust bunnies! And shadows! To the kitchen! Knock over the Morning Elixir Maker! Cup smashed! Oops! I’ll clean it later! Gotta run! To the Squishy Cushion Thing! Watch the claws—Don’t make a hole…don’t make a hole—Oops! Made a hole! Under the table! Stop! Did it follow me? No. Good. That was close.

Gosh, I’m tired. It’s been nice talking to you, but if I’m going to keep my eye on What’s His Face tonight I should probably sleep for a few hours…or ten, just to be safe. Can’t be too careful when dealing with vampires, even nice ones, right?

Thanks for stopping by. Good night.


  1. I never considered the difficulties of a cat who resides with a vampire. Most interesting. Beware of What's His Face!

    ~ Krista

  2. Oh no! I hope your Alex and you stay safe from the shadows. Dweezil, you sound like a great cat.