Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Five Rules to Live By
Mayor Dante Leofanti from Denise Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries
Is this thing on? My secretary usually types my stuff into the computer for me, but the silly twit is on maternity leave—and she isn’t even married. I ask you what’s this world coming to?
Speaking of silly twits, my niece Skye Denison has her panties in a twist about the new country music theater coming to town. She claims turning Scumble River into the Branson of the Midwest will “ruin” the ambiance of small-town living. Hells Bells! Doesn’t she realize the kind of money we’re talking about? Everybody who has a lick of sense can cash in on this deal.
What? Oh, yeah. My five rules.
1. The average person is dumber than a box of rocks and needs someone to tell them what’s good for them. That someone is me.
2. Profit is king. Never let emotion get in your way of a big score.
3. A woman’s place is cooking dinner and cleaning house. The reason for them to be in the workplace is to make coffee and take notes.
4. Nothing happens in my town without my approval.
5. If you’re not my friend, you’re my enemy.
Do you have rules that you live by?
---Murder of a Creped Suzette, is the next adventure in which Dante will appear. It will be out October 4, 2011.