Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Five Rules to Live By

Mayor Dante Leofanti from Denise Swanson’s Scumble River mysteries

Is this thing on? My secretary usually types my stuff into the computer for me, but the silly twit is on maternity leave—and she isn’t even married. I ask you what’s this world coming to?

Speaking of silly twits, my niece Skye Denison has her panties in a twist about the new country music theater coming to town. She claims turning Scumble River into the Branson of the Midwest will “ruin” the ambiance of small-town living. Hells Bells! Doesn’t she realize the kind of money we’re talking about? Everybody who has a lick of sense can cash in on this deal.

What? Oh, yeah. My five rules.

1. The average person is dumber than a box of rocks and needs someone to tell them what’s good for them. That someone is me.
2. Profit is king. Never let emotion get in your way of a big score.
3. A woman’s place is cooking dinner and cleaning house. The reason for them to be in the workplace is to make coffee and take notes.
4. Nothing happens in my town without my approval.
5. If you’re not my friend, you’re my enemy.

Do you have rules that you live by?

---Murder of a Creped Suzette, is the next adventure in which Dante will appear. It will be out October 4, 2011.


  1. One seems to fit the bill. Vote (early and often) against Mayor Dante Leofanti.

  2. I would never work for this Mayor...

  3. Liz and Dru,

    Shockingly, Uncle Dante's not a bad mayor. At least he's better than the one before him, who, in the great Illinois tradition, is serving time in prison.

    Skye Denison

  4. I have one rule... never trust anyone who has only five rules for living!

  5. Hmm. I'm surprised Dante hasn't been bumped off. May be a plot for another book!

  6. If he ever gets run out of Illinois, he can always head south to Louisiana... sounds like his political style would fit in well there. :-)

  7. I met a guy like Dante once, but he's dead now. Me? I have an alibi.

    Charlotte Adams

  8. Dante, I'm sure you're very popular. Doesn't anyone ever run against you?

    ~ Krista