Berkley Prime Crime
Pastor Virgil Franklin here and even though it’s hot as the gates of Hades here in Savannah I’m all atwitter!
It’s Friday and I’m getting ready for my big Family Values rally tonight here in Savannah. Nothing more important than family values, is there...unless you’re talking about my new deacon, Sissy Collins. Lord have mercy, now there’s something to sing alleluia about!
Sissy is part of my church family. Not exactly the same as Birdie and the five little Franklins waiting for me at home, but I can still think of Sissy as family, right? Especially when I meet up with her at the Marshall House hotel or the Hampton Inn. Lordy, she is a mighty fine member of the family, indeed. She makes me sweat and have a lot of other family-like reactions like kissing and hugging and snuggling. Those are all good family things.
‘Couse there are a few other things not quite so family like but we’ll just not talk about those. And if my congregation finds out that Sissy and I are doing the horizontal hula, my ass is grass. I’ll lose my church and Birdie will kick me to the curb like a piece of roadkill.
The problem is someone knows about Sissy and me. How do I handle this? I’m pretty good at weddings...and mighty good at funerals. Maybe I need to arrange one of those. I bet I could figure out a way to make this person...disappear. Sissy and I need our privacy.