but I can do other tings Julia can’t do.
See, I’m a big TV star in the city. I do exorcisms. Dat’s right, you heard me. I haf found dere are many young ladies who are in need of being exorcised.
Don’ ask me vhy. It chust is.
So, vhen I realize dis, I put my show on one of dose local channels, you know, community access stuff, but now! Wow! Everybody wants to see my show.
I have nice set, very mysterious, very creepy and I look da part. I look terrific in my long purple robes and beard, very handsome if I say so myself! I even look a little bit like dat other famous Russian guy.
Den I ask the sweet young ting to lay on the bier and I relax her. I tell her eyes are closing . . . closing . . . she is getting sleepier . . . and . . . sleepier and den, vhen I’m really sure, I tell dat stinky entity to get out of her body. She twitches and screams and gets very excited.
I vish I had such luck at dat séance Julia arranged up on Telegraph Hill. Not such good luck dere. All the people were in confusion and upset and the old lady too. I tought vith Zora, our medium, tings would go fine, but everybody got so vorked up and den dey broke the circle.
Anyvay, you gotta catch my new show, no community access TV for Nikolai no more. I am gonna be famous. You can say you knew me vhen. Even Julia vas impressed!
You can read all about me in The Madness of Mercury, my first appearance in print. I’m very excited. Now I’ll be famous in a book too!