Friday, July 6, 2018

A Conversation Between Characters

Samantha Kidd (former fashion buyer turned amateur sleuth)
Madison Night (decorator and Doris Day fan turned amateur sleuth)
Polyester Monroe (fabric store owner turned amateur sleuth)
Margo Tamblyn (costume shop owner turned amateur sleuth)
Sylvia Stryker (uniform lieutenant on a space ship turned amateur sleuth)
...all from different series by Diane Vallere, who may or may not have heatstroke :)

Samantha: listen up, ladies. Diane says one of us is supposed to write a blog for Killer Characters. It’s too hot for me to think straight. Can one of you do it?
Poly: You’re in eastern Pennsylvania, right? How hot is it there?
Samantha: 87 degrees.
Poly: Talk to me when you’ve got something! It’s 95 in San Ladron, California.
Madison: I’ve got both of you beat. It’s 96 in Dallas. That, my friends, is a trump card.
Margo: Give me a break! It’s 102 in Proper City, Nevada!
Samantha: Yes, but you work in a costume store. You can get away with wearing just about anything, right? Who are you dressed like today?
Margo (mumbles): Daisy Duke.
Madison: Daisy Duke? And people give me a hard time for dressing like Doris Day!
Poly: You are all crazy, you know that? (fanning self with a bolt of fabric.) I couldn’t bother to get dressed today. I came downstairs to the fabric store and cut three yards of cotton to wear as a toga.
Samantha: The world’s first black toga!
Madison: Why black?
Poly: I always wear black.
Margo: Isn’t that boring?
Poly: It’s easy. I don’t waste my mornings staring into a closet wondering what I’m going to wear.
Samantha: You know, with all that time you saved by not thinking about your outfit, you probably have time to write Diane’s Killer Characters post. All in favor, raise your hand! (raises hand)
Margo: Not so fast, Kidd. Considering I won the how-hot-is-it contest, the only thing I know for sure is that it's not going to be me. My vote goes to Samantha. It’s only 87 in her neck of the woods.
Madison: Yes, but she did just get back from that—umsituation in Las Vegas—so she deserves some time off.
Samantha: Yes! I deserve a break for all sorts of reasons. Nick and I just—
Margo, Madison, and Poly: Spoiler Alert! Don’t say it! We haven’t read PANTY RAID yet!
Samantha (frowning): You haven't? What are you waiting for?
Madison: I’ve been busy renovating the pajama factory I inherited in February.
Samantha: Fair enough. What about you two, Poly and Margo?
Poly & Margo: We were under the impression that it was somebody else’s show these days.
Poly: I have an idea! Margo—can’t you get that teddy bear to write the post? The one who claims he wrote your books? That would take the heat off all of us--no pun intended.
Margo: He’s hibernating.
Poly: Figures.
Sylvia Stryker: Hey, ladies, can you hear me? I’m on a space ship, and technically I’m not supposed to be talking about my world until Diane's ready to relaunch my books, but I’m pretty sure outer space is cooler than where you are. Want me to take a shot at it?
Samantha, Poly, Margo, and Madison (together) YES!
Sylvia: You got it. Except I am part Plunian, which means my body temperature runs about twenty degrees hotter than you people from earth…

Here's hoping you find a way to stay cool and read a mystery during the dog days of summer!


  1. I've been tempted to have several of my characters run into each other, like in an airport where all the flights are delayed (or a heat wave causes a major blackout). You make it sound like fun!

  2. Glad I'm not visiting any of your characters' locations right now. Too hot!

  3. Oh my goodness Diane!! This is hysterical!! I love the way you have your characters talking to one another. But Bear Vallere should have had a word or two to say. LOL!!

    1. Eileen--Thanks! Poly did try to get Bear Vallere involved but he's stubborn. (It's so hot he had to take off his Philadelphia Eagles T-shirt which made him mad.) :)

  4. That was great Diane--you have such a great imagination!