Hi, Auntie KiKi from the Consignment Shop series set in Savannah. I am the auntie we should all have in our lives. I’m a family-first kind of Southern gal, auntie to Reagan the main character in the series and I always seem to leap before I look where I’m going to land. This is good as it keep folks on their toes. It’s bad because you cannot imagine the messes I seem to get myself into.
I live in a house that’s been in my husband’s family since before Sherman parked his unwelcome hide in Savannah. I teach dancing so the young people of Savannah don’t look like idiots at their cotillion and so that the not so young can show off at their 50thanniversary party.
The problem is, here in Savannah, and as much as I hate to say it, we’ve been getting more than our share of funerals lately.
Now I understand that we all got to go sometime and some sooner than others but being dead is no excuse for bad manners and that’s why I’m here to be setting things to rights.
First of all and most important you must always be keeping your “death-ready” pantry up to speed so as soon as you get the call that Miss So-and-so is toes at that there slumber house you need be rushing right over to the family with stuffed eggs, chicken salad, caramel cake and some pecan tassies. And everyone knows Pimiento cheese spread is the very paste that holds the South together through think and thin.
Remember that casseroles that contain cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta cheese are considered second tier presentations, but a can of cream of asparagus soup added elevates the dish to a higher status. And of course banana pudding is the Cadillac of southern desserts, so don’t be forgetting that.
And always remember it’s right important to refer to the deceased as successful, no matter how far from the actual truth that might be. The written description needs to include enough truth that the dead person is somewhat recognizable, but include enough flattery to please the grieving family and friends.
And of course you must encourage those relatives to attend who do the most carrying on. Someone discreetly weeping into a hankie just doesn't have the same appeal as multiple women screaming and throwing themselves onto the casket as it is being lowered into the ground. What good is a send-off unless it’s a mighty big one.
And as for the service…for heaven’s sake keep in mind that Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heavenis only appropriate for one of those Yankee funerals. In this part of the world Amazing Gracewill do fine, thank you very much especially if there’s a martini two following right soon.
You all take care now, ya’ hear. Be sure to keep that death pantry stocked just in case and do let me know what’s your favorite dish to be sharing with your family and friends in these most unfortunate times.
I’ll give away three totes from the answers.