Sunday, October 6, 2019

Meet Detective Brad Pitt from the Mystery Bookshop Mystery Series by V. M. Burns

Hello, my name is Detective Brad Pitt and before you ask, I’m not related to the actor nor have I ever been married to Jennifer Anniston or Angelina Jolie. I’m a detective on the North Harbor Police Department, a real detective, not one of those rank amateurs who reads a mystery novels and then thinks they’re Nancy Drew. I’m the real thing. You may have read about me in the Mystery Bookshop Mystery Series. If you have, I would caution you not to believe everything you read. The author, V.M. Burns tries to be objective, but I’m sure she’s getting her information from that crazy crackpot old busybody, Josephine Thomas and her granddaughter, Samantha Washington. Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea if I set the record straight.
First, my name is DETECTIVE Pitt, not Stinky Pitt. Josephine Thomas was my teacher in elementary school and kids can be cruel. Just because of an unfortunate incident that happened decades ago, I don’t expect to wear that label around for the rest of my life. Catching criminals is hard and the only way to do it is with hard work and sweat, real sweat. Forget about those fictional detectives who want you to think. No little gray cells are going to catch bad guys. You’ve got to sniff around and hound the bad guys until they confess. That’s how I work and just because those crazy old broads have gotten lucky a few times doesn’t mean they know the first thing about real police work.
Second, I don’t have to rely on amateurs to solve my cases. I’m perfectly capable of solving any homicides that happen on my turf. However, we’ve had quite a few budget cutbacks and the department is stretched pretty thin. So, I’ve been maximizing my resources. I think it’s pretty smart to let Sam and her old biddies do some of the legwork. Of course, I do the hard work so it’s only fair that I get credit for the collar.
Lastly, I want to address the comments about my clothes. I’ve noticed a few remarks about my clothes being too tight and my pants being too short. That just goes to show that these women don’t have the slightest clue about fashion. My clothes are classic. Now, I’ll admit I’ve put on a few pounds, but I’m still in tip top shape and those polyester slacks were the height of fashion in the 60's and 70's. I'm was retro before retro was popular. Everybody knows fashion is cyclical. In a few years, folks will be beating down the door to get their hands on my bell bottom slacks. Then, we’ll see who has the last laugh!
During the month of October, you can pick up the eBook of the first book in the Mystery Bookshop Mystery Series, THE PLOT IS MURDER,  and meet Detective Pitt (aka Stinky Pitt) for just $4.99.

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